Counseling for AdultsCounseling for Teens

How to Discuss Uncomfortable Things

By November 15, 2017 May 10th, 2018 No Comments

I remember as a kid sitting in the passenger seat while my dad was driving. He wasn’t the most patient of drivers, and I remember him impatiently saying to the driver in front of him, who seemed to take forever to merge into a lane, “Are you waiting for an invitation?! Move or get out of the way.” I know what you’re thinking, that’s the guy who’s always riding my tail when I’m driving, and you’re probably right. But that’s not the point of this blog. I got to thinking that this is actually applicable in a lot of different aspects of life.

Oftentimes we find ourselves waiting, and waiting, and waiting for an opportunity to present itself, waiting on an invitation to come- snail mail and all. However, when we wait on the cosmos of the earth to hand out an invitation, we find that we are left feeling frustrated, angry and even resentful.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day. She was becoming increasingly more frustrated that her husband hadn’t addressed some of the issues and problems going on in the marriage. When I asked her what she was waiting for, she went on to say she was waiting for him to say something or bring it up- she was waiting for an invitation to have the conversation. I challenged this way of thinking, asking her the difference between taking initiative and waiting on an invitation. Waiting on an invitation, in essence, forces you to wait on someone else to make a move, wait on someone to send you an invite or not. Taking initiative, or initiation, is the opposite, whereby you begin or commence a process independently and on your own timing.

So while you’re “waiting for the right time” or find that “you haven’t found a good time” or are “waiting until they bring it up first” you may come to see time is coming and going very, very quickly. I want to encourage you to intentionally and strategically create the time and not wait on an invitation. Intentionally begin a conversation, and consciously initiate communication about what is on your mind: ask your kids what they know about suicide, talk with your boss about a raise, talk with your spouse about what is bothering you most, actively seek out someone to talk to about your problems. Potentially uncomfortable, yes; impossible, no.

Sarah Almendariz

Author Sarah Almendariz

More posts by Sarah Almendariz

Leave a Reply

Contact Sarah